Questions, answered honestly.

Order before noon and your flowers dispatch same-day. Delivered within 24 hours to most UK addresses via tracked courier. You'll get a tracking link the moment it leaves us.

Yes. We ship to all mainland UK addresses. Highlands, islands, and remote postcodes may require an additional day. If you are unsure, enter your postcode at checkout and we'll tell you instantly.

Our courier will attempt to leave the package in a safe place or with a neighbour. You can specify delivery instructions at checkout. Flowers should never be left in direct sunlight.

Yes. Select your preferred delivery date at checkout. We recommend not scheduling more than three days ahead to ensure maximum freshness.

With proper care, 7 to 10 days. Cut stems at 45 degrees, change water every two days, keep away from direct sunlight and fruit bowls. We include a care card in every box.

Because you are buying flowers, not foliage. Filler greenery is how most florists pad out an arrangement without spending more on stems. We do not do that. What you see is what you get: 40 premium tulip stems and nothing else.

Yes, at checkout. We offer single-colour and mixed options. Exact shades depend on seasonal availability, but we will always confirm before dispatch if we need to make a substitution.

Take a photo and email us at hello@tulipsandacunt.com. We will resend within 24 hours, no questions, no forms to fill out. That is the whole policy.

Because the floral industry is drowning in soft, inoffensive, forgettable branding. We wanted a name that would get your attention and hold it. It works. You're here, aren't you? The flowers are the serious part. The name just makes sure you remember us.

The name is not for everyone, which is fine. The flowers are for everyone. We use bold language and honest marketing. If that is not your thing, other florists exist. No hard feelings.

Yes. See our Florist Partner Portal for details on trade pricing, volume minimums, and how to apply for a trade account. Florists, event stylists, and hospitality buyers are all welcome.

Log in to your account to pause, adjust frequency, change your delivery address, or cancel. No phone calls required. Cancel any time, no notice period.